Need a holiday laugh? Funny Christmas jokes for kids, quips to make dad proud
Nothing spreads holiday spirit like a solid joke.
If you're looking to reload your quip arsenal ahead of the holidays, we've got you covered with jokes for all ages.
Adult happy meals are back for 2023:Kerwin Frost Box offers 6 new McNugget Buddies toys at McDonald's
Here are some of the best memes, jokes for kids, dad jokes, one-liners and knock-knocks that we could find:
Christmas memes 2023
Christmas jokes for kids 2023
Question: Why donôôֱt you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital?
Need a break?
Answer: He has private elf care.
Q:ôôֱWhy wasn't Scrooge mad at Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A:ôôֱEvery buck is dear to him.
Q:ôôֱHow do you know when Santaôôֱs around?
A:ôôֱYou can always sense his presents.
Q: What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit?
A: Mistle-toad.
Q: How do elves clean Santa's sleigh the day after Christmas?
A: Santa-tizer.
Q:ôôֱWhat nationality is Santa Claus?
A:ôôֱNorth Polish.
Q: What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed?
A: Started its own branch.
Q:ôôֱWhat did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense?
A:ôôֱôôֱBut wait, thereôôֱs myrrh!ôôֱ
Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?
A: The ghost of Christmas passed!
Q:ôôֱWhat kind of music do elves listen to?
A:ôôֱWrap music.
Q: What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
A: St. Nickel-less
Q:ôôֱWhy do reindeer wear bells?
A:ôôֱTheir horns donôôֱt work.
Q: Why is it difficult to find Advent calendars?
A: Their days are numbered.
Q:ôôֱDid Rudolph go to school?
A:ôôֱNo he was elf taught.
Q: Why does Comet hate doing chores at the North Pole?
A: He always gets stuck cleaning the bathroom.
Q:ôôֱWhat falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A:ԴǷ.
Q:ôôֱWhat do you call a child who doesnôôֱt believe in Santa?
A:ôôֱRebel without a Claus.
Q: What does a soccer announcer get from Santa when he makes the naughty list?
A: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Christmas dad jokes 2023
Q: How is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
Q: What's every parent's favorite Christmas song?
A: Silent Night.
Q: What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A: A pineapple.
Q:ôôֱWhy was the snowman looking through the carrots?
A:ôôֱHe was picking his nose.
Q: What is thre Grinch's least favorite band?
A: The Who
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve!
Q:ôôֱWhat should you expect at the end of Christmas Day?
A:ôôֱThe letter Y.
Q: How do Christmas trees get their email?
A: They log-on.
Q:ôôֱWhat are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
A:ôôֱFleece Navidad.
Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?
A: May the forest be with you!
Q:ôôֱWhat did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didnôôֱt prepare for his test on the Civil War?
A:ôôֱYouôôֱll go down in history.
Q: How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out out on the town?
A: They spruce up!
Q:ôôֱWhat is a Christmas treeôôֱs favorite candy?
A:Բ-Գٲ.
Q: What goes ôôֱOh, Oh, Ohôôֱ?
A: Santa walking backward!
Q:ôôֱHow did Mary and Joseph know Jesusôôֱ weight when he was born?
A:ôôֱA weigh in the manger.
Christmas one-liners 2023
- To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, Iôôֱm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
- Ah, Christmastime. When everyone gets Santamental.
- There are three stages of Christmas for men − believing in Santa, not believing in Santa and becoming Santa.
- My wife said she'd like nothing better than diamond earrings for Christmas, so I don't understand why she was so upset when she opened the empty box.
Christmas knock-knock jokes 2023
- Knock, knock!ôôֱWhoôôֱs there?ôôֱHo Ho.ôôֱHo Ho who?ôôֱYour Santa impression needs a little work!
- Knock knock. Whoôôֱs there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know what youôôֱre getting for Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Whoôôֱs there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
- Knock knock. Whoôôֱs there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer.
- Knock knock. Whoôôֱs there? Interrupting Santa. Interrupting Santa wh- Ho ho ho!
- Knock, knock! Whoôôֱs there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!
- Knock, knock!ôôֱWhoôôֱs there?ôôֱNoah.ôôֱNoah who?ôôֱNoah good Christmas joke?
Chris Sims is a digital producer for the Journal Star. Follow him on Twitter:ôôֱ.